Five Times Game of Thrones Made Me Call My Mom
I love Game of Thrones, but there are some seriously wtf moments that will either have you reaching for the wine you always conveniently carry in a pouch or calling mom. I often opt for the latter, even though my mom has neither watched the show nor read the books. But there are some seriously wtf moments I need to talk about like RIGHT NOW.
The Red Wedding
Let's start with the Red Wedding. In a matter of a few minutes, 2 Starks are dead and I am freaking out. I mean, they attached Rob's direwolf's head to his body! Naturally, I pull out my phone and called my mom. "Why would anyone own a wolf as a pet?" Mom asked. I don't think she got the point.
Theon All of Season 3
Winter is Coming
Can we talk for a moment about how literally every time we saw Theon season 3 he was being tortured in increasingly horrific ways? Ramsay Bolton maimed, played mind games, and full on castrated the Greyjoy. My mom, ever the gentle heart, said “ew”. I couldn’t agree more.
This I was not expecting (but can you really have any expectations in GoT?) Oberyn Martell is winning Tyrion’s trial by combat against “The Mountain”, Gregor Clegane when he gets cocky. The Mountain squeezes out Oberyn’s eyes so hard HIS HEAD EXPLODES. “Don’t even talk to me about eyes”, Mom said.
Shireen Goes Up in Flames
So we grow to love yet another character that gets killed. Shireen, Stannis Baratheon’s only daughter suffering from Greyscale is sacrificed to the Lord of Light by her own parents and the Red Woman, Melisandre. “We’re ordering Chinese,” Mom offered. HOW CAN I EAT LO MEIN WHEN SHIREEN WAS BURNED ALIVE?!
Tie: Tommen’s Death and Arya’s Pie
Making Game of Thrones
Four Letter Nerd
Ok, the season 6 finale was too much for me to handle, so I can’t decide which was worse: Tommen’s dive from the Red Keep or Arya’s gift to Walder Frey, a pie with his two sons baked into it. Both times I yelled at my screen and both times I called mom. “This is why I’m vegetarian,” she said.
Long story short, maybe my mom isn’t the best resource to reach out to after a wtf moment. Wine, then?