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Sam Ellis    ORIGINAL GONGSTER

6 Reasons We Won’t Forget the UK Election Anytime Soon

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Credit: Business Insider

As you may of recently noticed, it's been a crazy last couple of weeks here in the UK. From remarkably vague campaigns, to fish fingers battling for their constituents votes; the general election has been a monumental hurricane of disbelief, insanity, and comedy gold which only the British could convene in such times. 

If the experts are right, the chaos doesn't look to be coming to an end any time soon. So what better time to play catch up on just a small piece of some of the political madness you might have missed over the last few weeks:


Credit: NBC New York

1. An intergalactic space lord ran against Theresa May

No, this isn't a bad sci-fi movie. This actually happened. Lord Buckethead ran a spectacular albeit unsuccessful campaign to oust the prime minister from her own seat in Maidenhead, Berkshire. 

Running with the slogan “Strong, not entirely stable”, Lord Buckethead actually seemed to speak a lot of sense with regards to the prospect of either Jeremy Corbyn or Theresa May leading Brexit negotiations, and what them bargaining on our behalf might entail, even going as far as saying “It will be a SHITSHOW!”

Some of the dark lords policies included: free bikes for everyone to combat obesity, traffic congestion and bike theft, legalising hunting fox hunters, a referendum on whether or not to have another EU referendum, and the nationalisation of Adele. 

This was the intergalactic space lords third time running for parliament, receiving 249 votes, just 0.4% of the overall total. He had previously run against Margaret Thatcher (1987) and John Major (1992), receiving 131 and 107 votes respectively.


Credit: MemeGenerator

2. Wheat Life

One thing to take the internet by storm was the emergence of one of the Prime Minister's deepest, darkest and damn right most troubling secrets. 

In a recent tv interview, Theresa May was asked what was the naughtiest thing she had ever done. After squirming around for 15 or so seconds, she came up with an answer that couldn't of put her more out of touch with the British public even if she was fired out of Lord Bucketheads space bazooka. She went on to say, 

“I must confess me and the girls used to run through fields of wheat, the farmers weren't too happy about that.”

As you can probably imagine, a meme was born not long after as May unintentionally offered up one of her party’s better slogans of the campaign. I guess the sale of weapons to Saudi Arabia must of slipped her mind.


Credit: Daily Express

3. May's campaign

Back in March, Theresa May called a snap general election after promising just months earlier that she wouldn’t even entertain the idea; sparking off a chain reaction of u-turn after u-turn as the Prime Minister's inner GPS seemed to malfunction. 

Originally intending to wipe out Labour seats, which would have subsequently given her a stronger hand for Brexit negotiations, May watched the Conservatives majority crumble after repeatedly mumbling empty slogans, holding rallies in deserted lay-bys, refusing to take part in almost all TV debates, and changing her mind like most change their clothes, with the latest u-turn involving the ripping up of the very manifesto they presented to win the election. 

As for what comes next for May is unclear. Many call for her resignation as she tries to broker a last resort hung parliament deal with the radical loyalist group DUP (Democratic Unionist Party). This would potentially breach the Good Friday agreement, and reignite the conflict in Northern Ireland whilst simultaneously putting many lives in danger including those of the LGBT community who would suffer from the DUP’s radical and extremist policies. 

Many expect May will not see out the year, and see this recent attempt to form a hung parliament with the DUP as a desperate and barbaric attempt to stay in power.


Credit: I-D Vice

4. Grime Minister Corbyn

Elections over the years have predominantly been aimed at people who were already voting, with young people regularly getting overlooked when it came the potential Prime Minister's campaign. However, Jeremy Corbyn saw new voters just as important as the existing, and embarked on a mission to entice a generation of voters into politics by enlisting the help of grime stars JME, Stormzy, Akala and many more. 

Whilst support from the London Underground scene was no doubt a huge boost for Corbyn, it wasn't enough; as they were still quite a way off winning the election by a majority. However, many Labour supporters see this as a positive time for the party, and believe another election will be called a lot sooner than 2022. Some even believe we may still see a hung parliament fronted by Jeremy Corbyn as Prime Minister. 

One thing is for sure though: that is as it stands, Labour have not won the election, and Theresa May is still prime minister.


Credit: Daily Express

5. All the other candidates

Lord Buckethead wasn't the only interesting character to run for a seat this election. As the people of Westmorland and Lonsdale will tell you, who had the option of voting for Mr. Fish Finger. Surprisingly, over 400 local residents cast their vote for the frozen fish stick. 

Alongside Theresa May (and of course Lord Buckethead) ran a man dressed as Elmo, and Howling Laud Hope of the Monster Raving Loony party, who received three and 119 votes respectively. Notable policies included replacing Trident with a tuning fork, keeping the falklands, but giving Jeremy Corbyn to Argentina, and feeding The Welsh Dragon as “It looks a bit thin due to government cuts.” 

Other candidates across the country were just as laughable albeit unintentionally.


Credit: Salon

6. Murdoch was pissed

It was reported that media tycoon Rupert Murdoch stormed out of The Times election party late Thursday night as the results of the exit polls started to surface. Murdoch, who also has ties to The S*n, The Daily Mail and The Daily Telegraph, had been visibly disgruntled by the predicted results of a hung parliament and was in no mood to celebrate. 

The result of this election has confirmed what the likes of Murdoch and the Barclay brothers have been afraid of for some time with the sway of printed tabloids finally diminishing. If you picked up any of Murdoch’s papers in the run up to the election, you wouldn’t have had to read for long before finding a slanderous article about Jeremy Corbyn, obviously written in the hope of dissuading the public from voting Labour. 

The results of this election prove that the establishment is finally losing its grasp on the news and how it’s spun. However, the conservatives plan to invent a regulated and governed internet, essentially handing power back to Murdoch, who aims to ensure that his recent loss of influence in the media is only a passing storm.

In conclusion, you could ask a hundred different people what's going on in the UK right now, and get a hundred different answers. The election, originally intended to provide a “strong and stable” Britain, has left the country in more uncertainty than ever before, and with the prospect of yet another election in the not too distant future, it would seem stability is a word that will not be too closely associated with the UK for quite a few years to come. 

Still, if the previous few weeks have taught us anything, it should at least make for some spectacular viewing.

What were your thoughts on the insane UK election? Let me know in the comments.

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Sam Ellis
Sam enjoys music, binge watching series, reading, motorcycles, hanging out with friends and talking all things weird and wonderful.
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